What a Bullmastiff isn't...the little penis file

Big, strong, powerful and visually intimidating...the Bullmastiff. What an incredible specimen. Fearless, loyal and proud. Man, I'm gunna git me one of them dogs!

If you're looking for a 100+ pound, aggressive, mean-spirited penis extension, please stop reading.

This is not the 4-legged Viagra you are looking for...Wait a second. I take that back. DON"T stop reading. As a matter of fact, I want you to stay. Seriously, pull up a chair. I NEED you to read this. If you absolutely have to have "that" kind of dog, please do not consider this breed. You will only be disappointed. Disappointed dog owners create abandoned dogs. Let me explain why this is not your dog...

(Experienced Bully owners can take a mental nap here, this will be old news for you, but please stick around...)

The Bullmastiff looks the way it does because someone wanted a dog that could do a certain kind of work. You see, the Bully is a manufactured breed. Roughly 60% Mastiff and 40% Bulldog, it was created to do a job. The Mastiff provided strength and size, the Bulldog provided tenacity. By the way, the Bulldog in question is not the Winston Churchill bulldog we know today. It was instead a dog of medium size with speed and agility.

This cross-bred dog, the Bullmastiff, was created as a defense against poachers on large estates. Gentleman land owners in 19th Century England didn't like losing prize deer to poachers on their land. The Bully worked with the Gamekeeper to patrol silently, at night, to stalk and apprehend poachers. You see, Bullys don't bite. The idea was to knock the poacher down and HOLD him until the gamekeeper could catch-up...

The Bully did his work well. It wasn't until later that we saw how well the Bullmastiff worked with us that we developed the companion relationship we have with the breed today. You see, the breed wasn't developed to fight. There is a reason why none of the dogs rescued from Michael Vick's farm were Bullmastiffs. Quite simply, they're lovers, not fighters. Despite being a world-class moron, even Vick knew this wasn't "that" dog.

Big, wet, sloppy kisses. Those are the Bullmastiff's stock-in-trade. Warm hearts and cold noses. You want a fighter? Keep lookin' pal. This aint yer dog.