Gestapo School 4.0 and the dirty-trick

I can't believe it's been seven weeks between posts.
Slacker.
The time between early February and late March has not been idle time. Work has been a bear...but I won't bore you. Winter has been interminable...but again, I won't bore you. Lola has been a blur. She is in constant motion. Not always with a purpose, but certainly with gusto. She may not know what she's doing, but she does it full-tilt. To steal a phrase...she may be lost, but she's makin' good time!

Lola has completed her 5th week of obedience training. She's really doing quite well. Now that the thermometer is reading consistently above freezing, she (and we) can spend some quality time outside. She seems to pick things up pretty quickly. Her mental train leave the tracks quite a bit, but she responds to corrections pretty well. That is, after she was introduced the Mr. Pinch Collar in week two. Don't start! Pinch collars are not cruel. We don't sharpen the prongs on the grinding wheel. Pinch collars work. Period. If you are a staunch anti-pinch collar type, let me ask one simple question...What do mother dogs do to unruly pups? She nips them. Not a bite. Not a flesh-ripping attack. A simple nip tells the pup that it did something Mom did not like. It usually doesn't take more than a nip or two. The same holds true of the pinch collar. A few quick tugs and a "yip" or two usually send the message that "Mom" or "Dad" at the end of the leash was not happy.


Back to little Lola. She has grown a bit. She was 56 pounds last Saturday, probably a few pounds heavier this week. We received a couple of pictures of her brother (now living happily in Indiana). He is a BIG boy...75 pounds worth. At eight weeks he was smaller than Lola, not any more!


Today is a really important day in young Lola's life. She gets spayed today (the "dirty trick). Ready for the "preachy" part? Here goes...get your pet dog or cat spayed or neutered. Sooner rather than later. Remember, Lola was rescued. How irresponsible would it be for us as rescue owners to allow for the chance of even more unwanted puppies to come into a world with too many already? Is it uncomfortable for your dog? Yes. Is it messy and a chore for you? Yes. Is it the responsible thing to do? Absolutely. And your dog will forgive you. They always do. As for Neutering...we've never had a boy dog, so that hasn't been an issue, but it has to be easier and much less invasive than spaying. If the "emasculation" issue is the problem, grow up. Go back to post #1 and read the "dog as Viagra" section again. If you think you are tougher, cooler or sexier because your dog has a full ball-sack, you are a sad excuse for a man to start with. Well...I certainly feel better, how 'bout you?!


I have no intention of waiting seven more weeks before a I post again, so hopefully someone is still out there reading this stuff. If not, it still relieves some of the pressure in this over-stuffed melon of mine. Face it, I'm a gas-bag.


Thanks for staying with me...more soon.

The Puppy File...Lola gets a crash helmet?

Our little Lola is growing like the proverbial weed. 40+ pounds now. She has not grasped the concept that leaping into our laps at near-sonic speeds will cause air to escape violently from our lungs. Come to think of it, she hasn't grasped most concepts regarding velocity and solid matter. You know, small things like...there is a back to the crate...the couch doesn't move, not even for a determined Bullmastiff puppy...and the back door doesn't open simply because you ram you head against it.


Oh well, I guess even Einstein wasn't a genius at 17 weeks...


Little does she know that obedience training starts in two weeks! Gestapo school! Woo-Hoo. Sit! Stay! Happy come! All of our girls have been through the same course. We're well known there. The bad part of that is, if our dogs screw-up, we get called-out by the instructor...Gregg! What is Lola doing?!?! Uh, lazy sit? Why is Lola doing lazy sit? Uh, because I'm an idiot?

Actually, obedience is a good refresher for us as well as a great early socializing exercise for Lola. A socialized puppy is a happy puppy, or some such rot. Despite the fact that the Bullmastiff breed is a friendly lot, we absolutely believe our dogs were better for the experience of obedience school. Besides, if you ever want to participate in therapy or some other working endeavor, basic obedience is going to be a prerequisite. Who knows, maybe Lola will be our first Canine Good Citizen. HaHaHa...I crack myself up.

Oh ya, the crash helmet reference.

Bullys are, according to the AKC Standard, supposed to have "tulip" ears. Basically, V-shaped ears that lie flat to the head. Lola does not have tulip ears. Hers look more like fuzzy rotini. She's cute as a bug in her pictures, but those ears. We're talking Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer nose ears. (that doesn't make complete sense to me, and I wrote it) She'll probably get picked-on by the other dogs in obedience school. Hey, look at the weird kid! Check out those ears! Maybe she'll get to go to the land of misfit toys. I always wanted a Charlie-in-the-Box. Hmm, Rudy turned out OK, right?

So, what is the answer for fuzzy rotini? Tape. Wide, sticky tape. We're talking NFL Football player sprained ankle tape. Fold it this way. Fold it that way. Keep it flat. That should do it. Man, those things flap around like Dumbo's ears. She needs a chin strap. More tape. Cut it here, fold it there, attach it to her ears. Nope, too long. She needs a chin strap, not a face mask. Shorten it up, a little adjustment. Presto! Instant wrestling headgear. She hates it. If she had a sense of self (and a mirror) she would be horrified. It's a good thing puppies don't tease each other.

So that's it then. Another installment of the Lola file. We'll see how the training goes. Don't forget poop bags. Nothing worse than stopping class to go look for paper towels. Poor thing, she has no idea what she's in for...